Awake with an empty stomach & a busy mind.........

( I listed my techniques on my first blog entry)

So it has been 6 weeks, and so far I have lost 12 pounds.... about 3 of those pounds were gained and lost again every since the 4th of July weekend... lol

I always seem to eat more when I am with my family...

I did another mostly raw food day today. It's is actually pretty easy to do with the new consciousness techniques that I am using. I really do not get hungry much at all anymore.

It's not so much about hunger for me right now... it is more about the cravings and the extra time... yet the cravings also disappear using the same technique that I was using for hunger, so it is really pretty easy.

12 pounds in 6 weeks does not seem like much to me, it could be because of the fact that I was used to loosing a lot of weight fairly fast in the past from fasting, and extreme dieting. Usually, by now I have lost at least 20 to 30 pounds, and am just about to quit, and gain it all back...

Not this time!

This time I know it is different, because I am going to the source of the problem, and not just attempting to heal the symptoms....

I have officially broken the" Hunger-> Desire -> Satiate -> Guilt" pattern that has been with me on every attempt that I have done, and it feels good to be free from that highly destructive pattern.

So what am I left with... I still have 101 pounds to go to reaching my goal. So I search blogs daily, trying to find inspiration... and I am never let down. It is everywhere. In every blog that I follow.

What I am left with is my over obsessive mind. I am sure that is what is keeping me up. I have tried so many ways to let go of this extra weight, that I know many tricks, and tips. I guess I will just do a little of it all, when I feel inspired to do it.

I simply can not plan, cause I break rules. I can not use resistance, because there is always a balance to every thing I do. So if I resist today, than I do not resist on another day.

Today I woke up inspired to eat raw veggies again, so I did it. I did have half a roll with butter on it because my son could not finish it, and brought it to me. I chose not to resist, because I know there is a down side to resisting. I ate it, it was good, and I do not feel guilty. I also ended up way below my calorie intake for the day.

I am currently moved to doing a salt water flush because I feel that my body can benefit from a rest from food for a day or so, just to flush out the intestines. So that is what I will be doing for tomorrow. It is amazing how hard our bodies have to work just to digest food.

Since starting these techniques it seems like I have a lot more time on my hands. It is like there is this empty space, or a kind of void since I no longer spend most my waking hours preparing meals, and cleaning up after meals. It has given me a lot of time to think of all the things that I can do to help me move forward and reach my goal. Sometimes I wish I could take a nap, but I just have too much energy. I have been walking more lately, but I do not insist it upon myself.

I still have a lot of weight to let go of and perhaps that is why my mind is so obsessed. It remembers similar paths in the past where I ended up loosing stem and giving up. Of course, there was always some excuse that I would try to tell myself. The mind has it's ways, and must be watched. My problem was never with the body, it was always the mind and consciousness that got me to where I am at.

About 2 and a half years ago in early 2009 I was so sick, that I can remember going upstairs to my bedroom. The walk up stairs wiped me out, and I would sleep for 6 hours or so just recovering from exhaustion. At the time I was dealing with heavy menstrual cycles and would bleed for up to 35 days in a row. So naturally I was anemic. In fact I even had to go to the hospital for a blood transfusion.

My cycles continued to be severe for the first 6 months of that year. I could barely muster up enough energy to care for myself, not to mention my kids. It was pretty scary.

Looking back at that time now, I realize that I made myself sick, and my mind was there to help me stay that way. It got to the point that I had no choice but to do something. So I fasted on "water only" for 10 days, and restricted my diet for a couple months. I would have to say that even though I gained all the weight back, and then some, it was still a good thing that I did something. It changed the way I was thinking.

Today, though I weigh more than I did then, I can almost run up and down the stairs. I still get winded, but at least I am not going down the stairs like a 90 year old lady that can barely see anymore.

There are many other ailments that have since disappeared. I cut bread out of my diet for the most part. I might have bread of some sort 5 or 6 times a month, and that has certainly helped my digestion. So I guess, even when I gave up on loosing weight, I was still doing things to better my health, and I sure did learn a lot. I also cut down a lot on processed foods.

The greatest lesson that I learned from all my attempts to let go of weight was that my body is an obedient servant to my mind.

I also learned that my mind can be programmed to get my body in shape.

One thing I do my best not to say to myself now is " I can't" .....

Because I know I can... and I know that anyone can...

I know I do not have many readers right now, so thank you to anyone reading this blog.

I wish you the best that health and love can bring to you!!!

My mostly raw food day....

Continued from yesterday....

So as I stated in my post from yesterday that I would let you all know how the day turned out for me.

#1. I started the day with some fresh sliced mango.
#2. I had 2 celery sticks, 1/3 of an English cucumber,and a semi-large tomato.
#3. I had a bowl of Taboli - which contained about 80% raw vegetables, some Bulgar wheat, and olive oil.

Had a very small (testing) bite of Chili that I was cooking for my kids, and a couple pieces of popcorn.

It was really easy to eat mostly raw foods, and I plan on doing it again soon. But not today.

I also did go on a 50 minute walk with my 2 sons. I felt it in my legs last night when I went to bed.

I am enjoying the fact that I am taking a much gentler approach towards getting healthy, it is very relaxing and guilt free.

Today

After watching Fat, Sick and nearly dead I have decided to eat mostly raw foods for the day.

After several attempts to let go of weight, some ways were more extreme than others, I am more reluctant to make any major declarations of some new extreme plan. In fact, I really do not plan my meals out at all.

I never know what I am going to eat when I wake up everyday. Sometimes I do not eat until 2 or 3 pm. I really do not believe that I need to have a fast metabolism in order to loose weight, so I do not do the "eating 5-6 small meals every 3 to 4 hours thing" either. I know this works for many people but for me, that is way too much time spent on the pursuit of eating in one day. ( I did that once several years ago, and lost 40 pounds, but I felt like I was always just a couple hours away from getting hungry again.)

Now, I usually just eat a couple times a day and maybe a snack in between. Sometimes it takes me a couple hours to decide what I am going to eat, however, since I do not eat when I feel hungry,(Following My #1 Technique) I am able to make a decent choice. I also make sure not to go over 1700 calories everyday. 1700 Calories is just below the calorie intake I would have to take in order to maintain my current weight without any exercise. I usually hit between 1000 and 1400 every day, yet sometimes much less than that.

Today I am very willing to eat mostly raw foods, and I even feel like going on a walk with my kids.

I started the day out with some fresh mango. Yummy. I also sent my husband to the market to get some tomatoes, cucumbers, and celery. I plan on making Taboli (wheat salad) , which my entire family loves.

I will blog about how my day ended up tomorrow.

I wish you all the best that health and love can bring!

Fat, Sick, and nearly dead is truly inspirational....

If you get a chance I highly recommend watching Fat, Sick, and nearly dead. It is an inspiration for all those that know they need to do something to turn their health around....It is a 97 minute movie/documentary on how a man from Australia came to America to do a 60 day juice fast to help heal his body. His transformation is nothing short of amazing. He inspired an American truck driver who weighed over 400 pounds to also do a juice fast, which changed that man's life. The movie is available on Netflix ... I think you might be able to see some on Youtube as well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv3vEXy_EwU (link to the trailer)

The joys of conscious eating.

In Dr. David Hawkins map of consciousness there are different levels of consciousness that are associated with an energy field which can be calibrated. The energy fields below 200 are not life supporting, therefore they are considered destructive.

Map of the scale of consciousness:

Calibrations Range from 1 to 1000

Shame calibrates at 20 ; associated emotion is humiliation
Guilt calibrates at 30 ; associated emotion is blame
Apathy/hatred calibrates at 50 ; associated emotion is despair
Grief calibrates at 75 ; associated emotion is regret
Fear calibrates at 100 ; associated emotion is anxiety
Desire calibrates at 125 ; associated emotion is craving
Anger calibrates at 150 ; associated emotion is hate
Pride calibrates at 175 ; associated emotion is scorn
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Courage calibrates at 200 ; associated emotion is affirmation
Neutrality calibrates at 250 ; associated emotion is trust
Willingness calibrates at 310 ; associated emotion is optimism
Acceptance calibrates at 350 ; associated emotion is forgiveness
Reason calibrates at 400 ; associated emotion is understanding
_________________________________________________
Love calibrates at 500 ; associated emotion is reverence
Joy calibrates at 540 ; associated emotion is serenity
Peace calibrates at 600 ; associated emotion is bliss
Enlightenment calibrates at 700 - 1000 ; associated emotion is ineffable
Pure consciousness calibrates at 1000
___________________________________________________

The reason I wanted to list these today is because I wanted to talk about the difference between will power and willingness.

Definition of willpower : Self discipline, training and control of oneself and one's conduct, usually for personal improvement. Self control, the ability of a person to exert his/her will over the inhibitions of their body or self

Will power comes from the energy field of pride, and although it is much higher than shame and guilt it is still aggressive in nature.

Willingness is defined as “cheerful compliance ” – in other words – readiness, enthusiasm or eagerness.


I have used willpower to loose weight in the past, and it worked for as long as I could keep it going. But at some point I always seemed to give in to the resistance.

So what do I do when I get a major craving for a certain food?

First thing I do is sit with that sensation willingly until it disappears.

Once it disappears, I can either take it or leave it. ( I become neutral)

So, if I choose to not eat it, it is not because I used willpower, or resistance, it is because once the sensation has disappeared, it really does not matter if I have it or not. I am no longer stuck in the energy field of desire.

Yet, if I do choose to eat it I will not be stuck in the lower energy fields of shame, guilt, and regret.

I have been using these techniques for just over a month now, and every now and then I see myself slipping into old patterns of behavior. The good news is that they are "Old" and so it is easy to catch it and replace the patterns with the techniques.

Besides loosing weight, I can honestly say that I find myself in a good space. I am happier, and more inspired to do things that I used to consider a chore, or mundane. I have a lot more energy, and I am at peace with the process.

I am glad to be taken a non aggressive approach to healing my mind & body. I am also happy to admit that there has been no struggle at all, and therefore, no suffering. :)

Letting go of the weight has never been easier!!!

I would have to say that I have tried several ways to loose weight for the last 9 years.

Back in 2004, I dropped about 40 pounds in 3 months. I ate small portions, and did a lot of walking to loose all that weight. I never really felt that healthy, and I was extremely aggressive in my approach, both physically and mentally. I felt like I was starving and over working my body... it was very exhausting. Then I threw my back out and it took a while to recover from that, so I stopped my routine. It took about a year for all that weight to come back, and plus 10 more pounds.

Then in 2006 I did a 10 day water only fast, and some restricted diet just before the fast and lost a quick 30 pounds... I felt very deprived during those 10 days. That weight stayed off for about 6 months, before I gained it back, plus an extra 15 pounds.

I stayed 214 pounds for about 4 years... until 2010 - when I fasted again for 10 days on water only and lost about 24 pounds. This time I felt better about the fasting, as there where other health benefits that I recognized right away, however I still felt like I was starving myself, and when I was done fasting, I gained all 24 pounds back plus an additional 14 pounds....

For sometime I just gave up on trying to loose weight, because to me it just seemed to get worse and worse. So I was a bit weary of loosing again only to gain it all back plus more.

The problem was the fact that I was somewhat aggressive, and focusing mostly on the body, and not the mind. Of course I did work on the mind too, as you sort of have to in order to loose weight, however I did not understand how to work on the mind, so I just programmed it with other belief systems that also failed me.

I knew that I needed to find a way to loose weight that did not require much suffering if any.

I knew that too much exercise, and too much deprivation was not going to work. I needed to find something that worked right into my daily life, something that I could do for the rest of my life.

Dr. Hawkins techniques bypass both the body and the mind, and work at the level of consciousness itself. It is by far the easiest and most loving thing I have ever done for myself.

I quit dieting, I quit trying, I quit using will power, and I quit worrying about my body.I simply replace my old patterns with these new techniques and the weight is coming off. I am close to having no sensations of hunger at all, maybe a few seconds a day if any at all. Yet still when ever that sensation comes along I am simply willing to sit with the sensation, and allow it to disappear without acting on it by trying to satiate the sensation.

Within a month I will also be ignoring the calorie intake, as the techniques are not about calories, exercise, or dieting.

I eat the same foods that I use to eat, just a lot less in amount and frequency than before. I move around more than I use to, however I do not have a regime, so I do not have a regime to break. All my extra physical activities are spontaneous, and enjoyable. When I feel like moving I move, and when I feel like resting I rest. I am consciously eating, and caring for myself.

#10 - Do something caring for your body everyday.

I know that it is easy to not love your body when it seems to be the cause of so much pain, whether it be mental, physical, or emotional pain. I think it is important to do something caring everyday and start to create a loving attitude towards your body.

I use to say to myself that I hated my body. Sometimes, if I was not going anywhere, I would not even look in the mirror all day, or worse, for days. Sometimes I would not even brush my hair.

Since I have started working on my consciousness techniques I realize how thankful I am to have a body. It may not be exactly in the shape that I want it to be in, however, I depend on it, and it always serves me faithfully.

So now I make a conscious effort to do something everyday. It could be as simple as taking a nice long hot bath, painting my fingernails, or even drinking a glass of water.

These techniques are all about changing old destructive patterns, and replacing them with healthy and loving attitudes towards myself, and my body.

#9 - Let go of all guilt whenever you feel you have binged or failed

Guilt serves no purpose in health. It causes stress, and makes us feel bad. Feeling bad also serves no other purpose other than the fact that we get to feel bad.

I have learned that negative self talk comes from feeling guilty, and it is not constructive, nor is it loving to myself.

So what if I have some days that I ate more than I needed to, and did not loose weight. The truth is that a few days here and there are not going to stop me from reaching my goal weight.

There is no reason to allow a few days of binging to be the cause of quitting or giving up.

I do not know anybody that falls down and stays down. So how is this any different? Just get back up....it is really that simple. I know that even if I get hurt falling down, that I will heal.

#8 - Eat sensible meals

The word sensible is so subjective here. So what it means to me may differ from someone else. I am really referring to sensible in the context of letting go of extra weight, or not gaining extra weight.

Some days I might eat a meal that is around 700 calories, yet for the rest of the day I might just munch of a couple hundred calories here and there, totaling between 1200 - 15oo calories total for the day. To me that is sensible since the allowable calorie intake in order to maintain weight for my body is around 1700 calories.

Other days I might have a few meals that do not go over 400 calories per meal. This is also sensible in the context of letting go of weight.

To me it is not sensible to eat an entire pizza which can be a few thousand calories.

#7 - Keep an estimate of calorie intake for the first month or two.

Keeping track of calories is not suggested in this book. I just figured since the techniques that Dr. Hawkins suggests are dealing with consciousness, and awareness, than it is sensible to be aware of the calories that I am consuming until I feel that I have transcended my previous eating patterns and habits. After a month or two I will stop doing this, as I believe I will have a good feel for how much I am consuming.

There was a time when I never counted calories and so I was quite unaware of how many calories I was consuming. I think it is a good idea to know how many calories you should be eating in order to loose weight, gain weight, or stay the same.

I am not completely strict about this, it is taken somewhat lightheartedly. It is just a good way for me to stay conscious of my eating. I certainly do not count every single calorie that I consume, I usually estimate the calories and have a general idea of my calorie intake.

Some days I eat very little, and really do not feel like eating, and some days I feel like eating more. I do not have a set rule of how many calories I can have, but I do have a good idea of how many calories I do not want to eat.

On most days after using the techniques suggested in Dr. Hawkins book I have found that I am really not as attached to the idea that I have to have a meal, it is more like I can take it or leave it. Yet on other days, I am actually looking forward to eating once the hunger sensations have passed.

#6 - Let go of self defeating belief systems and excuses for being overweight.

There are hundreds of reason that people come up with for being over weight.

I will list a few of the ones that I have had, which I believe contributed to me being over weight, and explain how I have allowed them to go away.

#1 - Having 5 kids.

#2 - I can't loose weight.

#3 - Having thyroid issues make it very difficult to loose weight.

#4- I am fat.

#1 - There is no reason that having 5 kids should prevent me from letting go of weight. There is no logic, or scientific data to support this as a fact, so this is an excuse that is self defeating, and so I allow this excuse to fall away. It is not true, and so I stop saying it to myself.

#2 - I can't believe I actually told my doctor that could not loose weight. The truth is - I actually loose weight quite well. I have lost weight every time I plan to. I just quit after a while, because I did not understand the patterns that have been running and ruling my eating behavior.

#3 - This one is easy to believe. In fact even my doctor told me it could be due to my thyroid. However, the truth is, that my body gains weight when I eat more calories than I burn. All the times I have reduced my calories I have lost weight, so my thyroid problem is not preventing me from letting go of weight.

#4 - I am not fat. I am not a body. I have a body. Right now that body is fat. But I am not fat. If my body were to loose a leg, I would still be me. When my body looses a tooth, I am still me. When my body looses weight, I will still be me.


This is probably the most important technique, because it will reveal some very ridiculous belief systems that are running in the back ground, which can easily go unnoticed.

In the book, Dr. Hawkins talks about an old man that is going to see a therapist. He moves very slow, with very little energy. It takes him a lot of effort just to get to the chair and sit down. Then the therapist hypnotizes the old man into believing that he is 35 years old. The old man wakes up, believing that he is 35, and he moves like he did when he was 35 - full of energy, moving about without difficulty, yet he was still in his old body.

This illustrates how our belief systems have power over our bodies. The body listens to the mind. So as long as I believe in any of the excuses I have given myself for being over weight, I will not be able to let go of the weight permanently. Because my beliefs will creep there way back into my life. Just as they have in the past. So, now when ever I catch my mind lying to me, I laugh a bit, cause the mind is busy, and quite funny, and I simply reject those thoughts as being the truth.

#5 - Pass up the eating of sugar/sweets on an empty stomach.

When first applying these techniques it is best to avoid eating sugar and sweets on an empty stomach. When we eat sweets, and sugary foods on an empty stomach our bodies absorb the sugar so fast that our bodies will have a drop in blood sugar levels, which gives the body a sensation of hunger, even if we have plenty of calories to get by for the next 4 - 10 hours without a problem.

It is a good idea to try to keep our blood sugar levels fairly stable, which will make following the first 3 techniques more of a breeze.

#4 - Visualize my body at my goal weight.

You can feel good now. It is common to tell ourselves that when we let go of all the unwanted weight we will feel so good. However, there really is no reason to postpone that feeling.

So everyday, I close my eyes, and remember when I was fit and healthy. I remember how fast I could move. I remember being able to run up and down the stairs without loosing my breathe. I remember being thin, and how good it felt.

I can see myself stepping on the scale and being at my ideal weight, and feeling really good about it. I go into that feeling, even if just for a minute or two. Then I let it go and just go about my day.

By doing this everyday, I have set my mind into automatically moving towards that reality. I also get the benefit of not having to wait for that reality in order to be happy.

#3 - When I get that hunger sensation- just be willing sit with it, and go into the sensation until it passes.

" With this technique, when the sensation arises the you had previously called hunger, you ignore the thoughts that go with this, especially canceling that thought of hunger. Instead you go right into the sensation, directly into the inner experience of what you are actually experiencing. You go where you are experiencing it without labeling it, naming it, or calling it anything. You just experience it and begin to let go of resisting those sensations. You silently go into consciousness itself, into the inner experience of what you are experiencing, and let go of resisting it." ~ David R. Hawkins -- From the book - Healing and Recovery

By using this technique I have found that there is a limited amount of the "sensation", and since I am willing to sit with it and not resist it, it disappears rather quickly.

The part that I have found hard due to my own belief systems is the labeling of that sensation as hunger. However, I am getting really good at being willing to sit with the sensation without doing anything about it. I am also getting really good at not resisting the sensation.

So now when the sensation arises, it seems to pass withing seconds, and never last longer than a minute. It really depends on how long it takes me to ignore the thoughts that go with the sensation. I have noticed that the sooner I dismiss the thoughts, the sooner the sensation disappears.

#2 - Only eat when I do not feel that hunger sensation.

When you are not hungry, you do not care if you eat or not. It does not really matter, and you are no longer being ruled by the desire to satiate a sensation.

In Dr. David Hawkins book, it is mentioned that there was a discovery about how a shift in consciousness occurs when people eat. The shift is actually a drop. Meaning that we descend from a higher state of consciousness into a lower state of consciousness. Like from an adult state of mind to a child state of mind.

Every one knows that a child does care much about calories, and eating right. When a child wants something they are determined to get it.


By using technique #2, I am breaking the " Hunger->Satiate" pattern and allowing myself to eat in a higher state of consciousness.

#1 - Do not ever eat when I get that hunger sensation!!!

This has helped break a pattern of satisfying a sensation, than may or may not indicate that my body is in need of food.

One thing that I noticed in my eating habits, and patterns, is that I have always tried to eat enough to where I would not feel hungry. Sometimes, I would eat a full plate of food, and still feel hungry, so I would go for seconds. Clearly, I was not hungry, as my stomach was already full of food. Yet because of the "sensation" I believed I was still hungry.

By using technique #1, I am allowing an old pattern of behavior to disappear.

10 things that I am doing to help let go of extra weight.

#1 - Do not ever eat when I get that hunger sensation!!!
#2 - Only eat when I do not feel that hunger sensation.
#3 - When I get that hunger sensation- just be willing sit with it, and go into the sensation until it passes.
#4 - Visualize my body at my goal weight.
#5 - Pass up the eating of sugar/sweets on an empty stomach.
#6 - Let go of self defeating belief systems and excuses for being overweight.
#7 - Keep an estimate of calorie intake for the first month or two.
#8 - Eat sensible meals
#9 - Let go of all guilt whenever you feel you have binged or failed, and just keep doing your best at sticking to the techniques, and the weight will come off.
#10 - Do something caring for your body everyday.