Awake with an empty stomach & a busy mind.........

( I listed my techniques on my first blog entry)

So it has been 6 weeks, and so far I have lost 12 pounds.... about 3 of those pounds were gained and lost again every since the 4th of July weekend... lol

I always seem to eat more when I am with my family...

I did another mostly raw food day today. It's is actually pretty easy to do with the new consciousness techniques that I am using. I really do not get hungry much at all anymore.

It's not so much about hunger for me right now... it is more about the cravings and the extra time... yet the cravings also disappear using the same technique that I was using for hunger, so it is really pretty easy.

12 pounds in 6 weeks does not seem like much to me, it could be because of the fact that I was used to loosing a lot of weight fairly fast in the past from fasting, and extreme dieting. Usually, by now I have lost at least 20 to 30 pounds, and am just about to quit, and gain it all back...

Not this time!

This time I know it is different, because I am going to the source of the problem, and not just attempting to heal the symptoms....

I have officially broken the" Hunger-> Desire -> Satiate -> Guilt" pattern that has been with me on every attempt that I have done, and it feels good to be free from that highly destructive pattern.

So what am I left with... I still have 101 pounds to go to reaching my goal. So I search blogs daily, trying to find inspiration... and I am never let down. It is everywhere. In every blog that I follow.

What I am left with is my over obsessive mind. I am sure that is what is keeping me up. I have tried so many ways to let go of this extra weight, that I know many tricks, and tips. I guess I will just do a little of it all, when I feel inspired to do it.

I simply can not plan, cause I break rules. I can not use resistance, because there is always a balance to every thing I do. So if I resist today, than I do not resist on another day.

Today I woke up inspired to eat raw veggies again, so I did it. I did have half a roll with butter on it because my son could not finish it, and brought it to me. I chose not to resist, because I know there is a down side to resisting. I ate it, it was good, and I do not feel guilty. I also ended up way below my calorie intake for the day.

I am currently moved to doing a salt water flush because I feel that my body can benefit from a rest from food for a day or so, just to flush out the intestines. So that is what I will be doing for tomorrow. It is amazing how hard our bodies have to work just to digest food.

Since starting these techniques it seems like I have a lot more time on my hands. It is like there is this empty space, or a kind of void since I no longer spend most my waking hours preparing meals, and cleaning up after meals. It has given me a lot of time to think of all the things that I can do to help me move forward and reach my goal. Sometimes I wish I could take a nap, but I just have too much energy. I have been walking more lately, but I do not insist it upon myself.

I still have a lot of weight to let go of and perhaps that is why my mind is so obsessed. It remembers similar paths in the past where I ended up loosing stem and giving up. Of course, there was always some excuse that I would try to tell myself. The mind has it's ways, and must be watched. My problem was never with the body, it was always the mind and consciousness that got me to where I am at.

About 2 and a half years ago in early 2009 I was so sick, that I can remember going upstairs to my bedroom. The walk up stairs wiped me out, and I would sleep for 6 hours or so just recovering from exhaustion. At the time I was dealing with heavy menstrual cycles and would bleed for up to 35 days in a row. So naturally I was anemic. In fact I even had to go to the hospital for a blood transfusion.

My cycles continued to be severe for the first 6 months of that year. I could barely muster up enough energy to care for myself, not to mention my kids. It was pretty scary.

Looking back at that time now, I realize that I made myself sick, and my mind was there to help me stay that way. It got to the point that I had no choice but to do something. So I fasted on "water only" for 10 days, and restricted my diet for a couple months. I would have to say that even though I gained all the weight back, and then some, it was still a good thing that I did something. It changed the way I was thinking.

Today, though I weigh more than I did then, I can almost run up and down the stairs. I still get winded, but at least I am not going down the stairs like a 90 year old lady that can barely see anymore.

There are many other ailments that have since disappeared. I cut bread out of my diet for the most part. I might have bread of some sort 5 or 6 times a month, and that has certainly helped my digestion. So I guess, even when I gave up on loosing weight, I was still doing things to better my health, and I sure did learn a lot. I also cut down a lot on processed foods.

The greatest lesson that I learned from all my attempts to let go of weight was that my body is an obedient servant to my mind.

I also learned that my mind can be programmed to get my body in shape.

One thing I do my best not to say to myself now is " I can't" .....

Because I know I can... and I know that anyone can...

I know I do not have many readers right now, so thank you to anyone reading this blog.

I wish you the best that health and love can bring to you!!!

My mostly raw food day....

Continued from yesterday....

So as I stated in my post from yesterday that I would let you all know how the day turned out for me.

#1. I started the day with some fresh sliced mango.
#2. I had 2 celery sticks, 1/3 of an English cucumber,and a semi-large tomato.
#3. I had a bowl of Taboli - which contained about 80% raw vegetables, some Bulgar wheat, and olive oil.

Had a very small (testing) bite of Chili that I was cooking for my kids, and a couple pieces of popcorn.

It was really easy to eat mostly raw foods, and I plan on doing it again soon. But not today.

I also did go on a 50 minute walk with my 2 sons. I felt it in my legs last night when I went to bed.

I am enjoying the fact that I am taking a much gentler approach towards getting healthy, it is very relaxing and guilt free.

Today

After watching Fat, Sick and nearly dead I have decided to eat mostly raw foods for the day.

After several attempts to let go of weight, some ways were more extreme than others, I am more reluctant to make any major declarations of some new extreme plan. In fact, I really do not plan my meals out at all.

I never know what I am going to eat when I wake up everyday. Sometimes I do not eat until 2 or 3 pm. I really do not believe that I need to have a fast metabolism in order to loose weight, so I do not do the "eating 5-6 small meals every 3 to 4 hours thing" either. I know this works for many people but for me, that is way too much time spent on the pursuit of eating in one day. ( I did that once several years ago, and lost 40 pounds, but I felt like I was always just a couple hours away from getting hungry again.)

Now, I usually just eat a couple times a day and maybe a snack in between. Sometimes it takes me a couple hours to decide what I am going to eat, however, since I do not eat when I feel hungry,(Following My #1 Technique) I am able to make a decent choice. I also make sure not to go over 1700 calories everyday. 1700 Calories is just below the calorie intake I would have to take in order to maintain my current weight without any exercise. I usually hit between 1000 and 1400 every day, yet sometimes much less than that.

Today I am very willing to eat mostly raw foods, and I even feel like going on a walk with my kids.

I started the day out with some fresh mango. Yummy. I also sent my husband to the market to get some tomatoes, cucumbers, and celery. I plan on making Taboli (wheat salad) , which my entire family loves.

I will blog about how my day ended up tomorrow.

I wish you all the best that health and love can bring!

Fat, Sick, and nearly dead is truly inspirational....

If you get a chance I highly recommend watching Fat, Sick, and nearly dead. It is an inspiration for all those that know they need to do something to turn their health around....It is a 97 minute movie/documentary on how a man from Australia came to America to do a 60 day juice fast to help heal his body. His transformation is nothing short of amazing. He inspired an American truck driver who weighed over 400 pounds to also do a juice fast, which changed that man's life. The movie is available on Netflix ... I think you might be able to see some on Youtube as well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv3vEXy_EwU (link to the trailer)

The joys of conscious eating.

In Dr. David Hawkins map of consciousness there are different levels of consciousness that are associated with an energy field which can be calibrated. The energy fields below 200 are not life supporting, therefore they are considered destructive.

Map of the scale of consciousness:

Calibrations Range from 1 to 1000

Shame calibrates at 20 ; associated emotion is humiliation
Guilt calibrates at 30 ; associated emotion is blame
Apathy/hatred calibrates at 50 ; associated emotion is despair
Grief calibrates at 75 ; associated emotion is regret
Fear calibrates at 100 ; associated emotion is anxiety
Desire calibrates at 125 ; associated emotion is craving
Anger calibrates at 150 ; associated emotion is hate
Pride calibrates at 175 ; associated emotion is scorn
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Courage calibrates at 200 ; associated emotion is affirmation
Neutrality calibrates at 250 ; associated emotion is trust
Willingness calibrates at 310 ; associated emotion is optimism
Acceptance calibrates at 350 ; associated emotion is forgiveness
Reason calibrates at 400 ; associated emotion is understanding
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Love calibrates at 500 ; associated emotion is reverence
Joy calibrates at 540 ; associated emotion is serenity
Peace calibrates at 600 ; associated emotion is bliss
Enlightenment calibrates at 700 - 1000 ; associated emotion is ineffable
Pure consciousness calibrates at 1000
___________________________________________________

The reason I wanted to list these today is because I wanted to talk about the difference between will power and willingness.

Definition of willpower : Self discipline, training and control of oneself and one's conduct, usually for personal improvement. Self control, the ability of a person to exert his/her will over the inhibitions of their body or self

Will power comes from the energy field of pride, and although it is much higher than shame and guilt it is still aggressive in nature.

Willingness is defined as “cheerful compliance ” – in other words – readiness, enthusiasm or eagerness.


I have used willpower to loose weight in the past, and it worked for as long as I could keep it going. But at some point I always seemed to give in to the resistance.

So what do I do when I get a major craving for a certain food?

First thing I do is sit with that sensation willingly until it disappears.

Once it disappears, I can either take it or leave it. ( I become neutral)

So, if I choose to not eat it, it is not because I used willpower, or resistance, it is because once the sensation has disappeared, it really does not matter if I have it or not. I am no longer stuck in the energy field of desire.

Yet, if I do choose to eat it I will not be stuck in the lower energy fields of shame, guilt, and regret.

I have been using these techniques for just over a month now, and every now and then I see myself slipping into old patterns of behavior. The good news is that they are "Old" and so it is easy to catch it and replace the patterns with the techniques.

Besides loosing weight, I can honestly say that I find myself in a good space. I am happier, and more inspired to do things that I used to consider a chore, or mundane. I have a lot more energy, and I am at peace with the process.

I am glad to be taken a non aggressive approach to healing my mind & body. I am also happy to admit that there has been no struggle at all, and therefore, no suffering. :)

Letting go of the weight has never been easier!!!

I would have to say that I have tried several ways to loose weight for the last 9 years.

Back in 2004, I dropped about 40 pounds in 3 months. I ate small portions, and did a lot of walking to loose all that weight. I never really felt that healthy, and I was extremely aggressive in my approach, both physically and mentally. I felt like I was starving and over working my body... it was very exhausting. Then I threw my back out and it took a while to recover from that, so I stopped my routine. It took about a year for all that weight to come back, and plus 10 more pounds.

Then in 2006 I did a 10 day water only fast, and some restricted diet just before the fast and lost a quick 30 pounds... I felt very deprived during those 10 days. That weight stayed off for about 6 months, before I gained it back, plus an extra 15 pounds.

I stayed 214 pounds for about 4 years... until 2010 - when I fasted again for 10 days on water only and lost about 24 pounds. This time I felt better about the fasting, as there where other health benefits that I recognized right away, however I still felt like I was starving myself, and when I was done fasting, I gained all 24 pounds back plus an additional 14 pounds....

For sometime I just gave up on trying to loose weight, because to me it just seemed to get worse and worse. So I was a bit weary of loosing again only to gain it all back plus more.

The problem was the fact that I was somewhat aggressive, and focusing mostly on the body, and not the mind. Of course I did work on the mind too, as you sort of have to in order to loose weight, however I did not understand how to work on the mind, so I just programmed it with other belief systems that also failed me.

I knew that I needed to find a way to loose weight that did not require much suffering if any.

I knew that too much exercise, and too much deprivation was not going to work. I needed to find something that worked right into my daily life, something that I could do for the rest of my life.

Dr. Hawkins techniques bypass both the body and the mind, and work at the level of consciousness itself. It is by far the easiest and most loving thing I have ever done for myself.

I quit dieting, I quit trying, I quit using will power, and I quit worrying about my body.I simply replace my old patterns with these new techniques and the weight is coming off. I am close to having no sensations of hunger at all, maybe a few seconds a day if any at all. Yet still when ever that sensation comes along I am simply willing to sit with the sensation, and allow it to disappear without acting on it by trying to satiate the sensation.

Within a month I will also be ignoring the calorie intake, as the techniques are not about calories, exercise, or dieting.

I eat the same foods that I use to eat, just a lot less in amount and frequency than before. I move around more than I use to, however I do not have a regime, so I do not have a regime to break. All my extra physical activities are spontaneous, and enjoyable. When I feel like moving I move, and when I feel like resting I rest. I am consciously eating, and caring for myself.

#10 - Do something caring for your body everyday.

I know that it is easy to not love your body when it seems to be the cause of so much pain, whether it be mental, physical, or emotional pain. I think it is important to do something caring everyday and start to create a loving attitude towards your body.

I use to say to myself that I hated my body. Sometimes, if I was not going anywhere, I would not even look in the mirror all day, or worse, for days. Sometimes I would not even brush my hair.

Since I have started working on my consciousness techniques I realize how thankful I am to have a body. It may not be exactly in the shape that I want it to be in, however, I depend on it, and it always serves me faithfully.

So now I make a conscious effort to do something everyday. It could be as simple as taking a nice long hot bath, painting my fingernails, or even drinking a glass of water.

These techniques are all about changing old destructive patterns, and replacing them with healthy and loving attitudes towards myself, and my body.